Saturday, July 25, 2009

Political Humor

According to a new poll, 42 percent of Americans say they would vote
for Sarah Palin for president in 2012. They also said they'd support
her decision to step down in 2013. (Conan O'Brien)

Did you guys see Michelle Obama? She just got a new haircut. It's the
first real cut of the Obama Administration. (Jimmy Fallon)

The Woodstock Music Festival is 40 years old this summer. Those who
attended have changed quite a bit. They still do drugs. But now
there's a $15 co-pay. (Alan Ray)

The White House urged Congress Saturday to pass a health plan that
insures all Americans. The need is growing. A health report Friday
shows that thirty percent of Americans are attached to a machine at
home which keeps them alive, the refrigerator. (Argus Hamilton)

Critics are attacking President Obama for speaking out about the
arrest of Prof. Henry Gates, even though he did not know all the
important facts. The White House is shooting back, pointing out that
if President Obama didn't speak out about all the issues he knows
little about, he would never be able to make any speeches at all!
(Jake Novak)

On Monday, Defense Secretary Robert Gates, announced that the US will
send an additional 22,000 troops to Iraq to speed up the withdrawal
effort. It's all part of the Administration's new exit strategy,
"Reverse Psychology." (Jimmy Fallon)

Today is the deadline President Obama gave each of his Cabinet
officials to come up with $100 million worth of cost cuts, or actually
just pay their income taxes, whichever's easier. (Jake Novak)

The National Governors Conference was held in Biloxi last weekend but
economic woes kept thirty governors at home. It just is not a good
time for governors to travel. No matter where you go, voters think
you're in Argentina seeing your mistress. (Argus Hamilton)

On the Berlin brothel that's offering a discount to customers who
arrive on bicycles: "In a related story, the Tour de France has been
postponed indefinitely." (Cam Hutchinson)

Israel is now the number one nation in stem cell research, as it is
now growing heart cells, skin cells, and even brain cells. But the
Palestinians are still number one in growing terrorist cells. (Jake

A Florida dentist is being sued after he dropped tools down a
patient's throat on two different visits. See, this is why I want a
government bureaucrat standing in between me and my doctor. Preferably
one with incredibly quick reflexes. (Frank King)

A recent study reveals that eating hot dogs can cause Alzheimer's.
That's why that's the only thing I eat when I go to see the Washington
Nationals, so I can forget how horrible they are. (Pedro Bartes)

John Barry, who turned the popular lubricant WD-40 into a worldwide
sales success passed away in La Jolla, California at age 85. He was
laid to rest after a short memorial service during which he only
slipped out of the casket three times. (Bob Mills)

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