Monday, May 31, 2010

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Dear Tide:

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative! to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

Sunday, May 23, 2010


The United States Border Patrol is asking citizens
to keep on the lookout for a red 1951 Chevy that
they suspect is being used to smuggle illegal
immigrants across the border of Mexico and into
points along the U.S. border. If you see the vehicle
pictured below and have reasons to believe that it is
the suspect vehicle, you are urged to contact your
local police department or federal government

Mixed messages?

This is proof that my cat is retarded

Another facebook privacy tip

Friday, May 21, 2010

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Always use correct grammar

On his 75th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for..

The old medicine man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3..
When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, How do I stop the medicine from working"

"Your partner must say'1-2-3-4,' he responded. But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

The old gent was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his
wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men..

His wife, excited, began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked,
"What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Decision Maker

The attached chart shows the solution to one of life's reoccurring problems. I hope this can remove your indecision and stress when the situation confronts you.