Sunday, June 28, 2009

Strictly in bad taste....50 Michael Jackson's Death Jokes

Michael Jackson

1 - Apparently Michael Jackson died picking his nose. Doctors said they didn't blame it on the sunshine or the moonlight. They blamed it on the Boogie.

2 - Out of respect for Michael Jackson, McDonalds have released the MacJackson burger - 50 year old meat between 8 year old buns.

3 - Michael Jackson is dead from a heart attack, that was an allergic reaction to eating 8 year old nuts.

4 - When Farrah Fawcett went to heaven, God said to her, you've been a good human on earth, is there anything you have not done on earth that you should have. She replied, God I still worry about the little children in the world. God said no problem, and killed Michael Jackson.

5 - Michael Jackson's last words --- "Take me to Children's Hospital pleeeeease ............"

6 - It has been reported on the Angels News that Michael Jackson was refused entry to heaven, due to the fact they don’t accept plastic.

7 - Jockeys at tomorrows race meeting will wear black armbands out of respect for Michael Jackson, who successfully rode more 3 yr olds, than anyone in living memory.

8 - Reports of Michael Jackson having a heart attack are incorrect. He was only found in the children’s ward having a stroke.

9 - Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff, since MacAulay Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.

10 - Because Michael Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into Legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.

11 - In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.

12 - I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning, from eating a 5 year old wiener.

13 - Michael Jackson's dying wish was to be melted down, and turned into straws, so he can still get sucked on by kids.

14 - Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.

15 - Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.

16 - I have been asked how Michael Jackson died. I told them Crib Death. Crib Death? Isn't that SIDS? Typically, I said. But the father came home to see his son and found Michael Jackson in the crib with him, so he shot him. Hence Crib Death.

17 - What was Michael Jacksons last hit? ..... The floor!

18 - Young boys in the greater Los Angeles area can sleep with the night light off tonight. Michael Jackson is dead.

19 - Q: What's black, white, and dead all over? A: Michael Jackson.

20 - Paramedics at the scene knew Jackson was gone, when they waved a six-year-old boy under his nose and got no response.

21 - Did you hear? The Jackson Five are offering a 20 percent discount on their reunion concert!

22 - Michael Jackson was a very talented man, but unlike most stars, he knew when it was time to Beat It.

23 - Rest in peace and farewell Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. In your own way, each one of you helped young boys learn how to masturbate.

24 - They say that on his death bed Michael Jackson looked white as a ghost.

25 - At Glastonbury this weekend, Rolf Harris is going to perform a tribute to Michael Jackson by doing Two Little Boys.

26 - In an astonishing medical mystery, Michael Jackson's corpse remained limp and soft until just minutes ago, when an orderly was bringing it down to the morgue, and passed through the children's ward. Michael Jackson instantly went into rigor mortis.

27 - Due to Michael Jackson's unexpected demise, all of his dates in London have had to be cancelled. Starting with James, aged 10, George, aged 8, Peter aged 9 ......

28 - This is history. Where a young black boy who came from the worse shit hole in the world,(Gary Indiana). Then makes it to be the most famous pop singer in the world, and then the most publicized pedophile, then changes colour and religion only to die from a drug overdose, and be the biggest joke ever. This is the American Dream. Face up. It's A Thriller.

29 - Q: What are Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson getting for Christmas? A: Patrick Swayze

30 - Elton John is to perform a song at Michael Jackson's funeral. It is called "Don't let your son go down on me"

31 - What goes black-white-zzzzip? Michael Jackson as a child. Michael Jackson as an Adult. Michael Jackson in a bodybag.

32 - I guess that last kid was just too frisky for Michael Jackson.

33 - Michael Jackson has asked to be buried face-down, just in case Elton John wants to pop in for a cold one.

34 - I wonder if Michael Jackson will donate his organs to children, just like he did when he was alive.

35 - The cause of Michael Jackson's heart attack is now known. He discovered that 'Boys to Men' is a band, and NOT a delivery service.

36 - Michael Jackson requested his kids be looked after in the lifestyle they were accustomed to. Gary Glitter will babysit!

37 - The world's worst chess player has died, because Michael Jackson could never decide whether he wanted to be black or white.

38 - Michael Jackson R. I .P. (Rotten - Idiotic - Pedophile)

39 - I heard Michael Jackson would have made it, if only they would have just checked him into the Pediatric Ward.

40 - Doctors have just released a revised statement, Michael Jackson didn't have a heart attack, he died choking on a small bone.

41 - Newsflash!!! Gary Glitter makes a world record bid for Michael Jackson's computer!!!

42 - Michael Jackson's obsession with kids is getting worse, you would think he would "Get a Life."

43 - Michael Jackson did die of a heart attack. The kids parents came home, and caught him in the act.

44 - Michael Jackson's last request to the paramedics was quoted as being "I hope there is space for me in the children's ward."

45 - Why did Michael Jackson convert to Islam on his deathbed? He heard he would be greeted in heaven by seventy two year old virgins.

46 - Q: Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15? A: “It’s when the big hand touches the little hand.”

47 - Michael Jackson's girlfriend is devastated: "First my parents leave me in Portugal .... now this!"

48 - The U.S. Postal Service will be issuing a Michael Jackson stamp, so kids can still lick him.

49 - Apparently, Michael Jackson died after falling over a Pram. Detectives say, don't blame it on the buggie.

50 - Michael Jackson's cause of death - He choked on a rare Asian delicacy - Cream of Sum Yung Guy.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

Pics of the day 6-22-09

Scary furniture


I became confused when I heard the word 'service' used with these agencies.

Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few cows..
BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

Josh Womack's crazy bat skills

Mugshot of the day

There’s probably never a good time to get arrested, but you have to admit, this is kind of awkward: Marcus T. Bailey, 25, was in the middle of getting his hair done when he stepped out to deal drug … and got arrested!

The mug shot is priceless:

A 25-year-old Evansville man was arrested Wednesday when he stepped out of a South Side barbershop to conduct an apparent drug deal, police said.

Marcus T. Bailey, 25, was actually being sought on a parole warrant when authorities arrived at 952 Washington Avenue and found him in a car with two other people and about 21 grams of crack cocaine, said Evansville Police Department Spokesman Steve Green. Bailey was apparently having his hair braided inside when he stepped out, Green said.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Cool wedding invitation

Dance Off USF vs Uconn 2009 Big East Baseball Tournament

As seen on PTI. The 2009 Dance off between USF and UCONN which took place at bright house field May 21st, 2009. Filmed by the staff at Bright House Field. This dance off was a result of the two teams waiting though a 5 hour rain delay. This is the most complete video of the of the event and is largely un-editied.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Thursday, June 4, 2009


Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence or if I'm getting paranoid, but consider the following:

2007 was the Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 was the Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing

2009 is the Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of people around the globe

It gets worse ... Next year,

2010, is supposed to be the Chinese year of the Cock and I'm getting real nervous thinking about what could possibly go wrong!!