News of the day?

Bush Twins tell Obama girls to "have fun". Jenna confides to Sasha the Vodka is behind the Oval Office curtains.

Arab region gets snow (2nd time in recorded history). UN responds with condemnation of Israel.

Scientists discover airborne virus that causes people to gain weight. It is found mostly in unseen clouds hanging over McDonalds counters.

Blagojevich considered Oprah for Senate; & Dr Phil for Surgeon General & Judge Judy for Attorney General.

Almost 72,000 jobs lost today. Problem sourced to a menopausal boss who REALLY hates Tuesdays.

CA Mom gives birth to octuplets. Realizing they were born in
a recession, the Dad has spent most of the day shoving them back in

Police sniffer dog dies of nose cancer; cocaine blamed. Glamorous lives of sniffer dogs now under public scrutiny.

Money from drug deals keeping banks alive. So remember; a snort a day keeps liquidity at bay.

Mom of octuplets will breast feed all kids. Dad says he couldn't be happier.