Signs of the times

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
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In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
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On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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At a Proctologist's door:
'To expedite your visit, please back in.'
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On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
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On another Plumber's truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'
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On a Church's Bill board:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
'Invite us to your next blowout.'
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At a Towing company:
'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'
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On an Electrician's truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
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On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push.'
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At an Optometrist's Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
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On a Taxidermist's window:
'We really know our stuff.'
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On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
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At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
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At the Electric Company
'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.'
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In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'
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At a Propane Filling Station:
'Thank heaven for little grills.'
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And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'
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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'

Asst funnies

Photo bombing: The Fine Art of Ruining Other People's Photos