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Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
New govt program
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan. President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named....
"CASH FOR CODGERS": and it works like this...
Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel Sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
Run my old friend, Run! And remember you heard it from me first.
"CASH FOR CODGERS": and it works like this...
Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel Sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
Run my old friend, Run! And remember you heard it from me first.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Dental deal
by Madeleine Begun Kane
Does the very thought of a dentist set your teeth on edge? Is pudding too challenging to chew? This contract should help mitigate your pain.
AGREEMENT entered into this ____ day of ________, 20__ by anxious Patient and drill wielding Dentist.
WHEREAS, Patient views dentistry as legalized S & M; and
WHEREAS, Dentist enjoys pillaging mouths almost as much as yachting and golf;
NOW, THEREFORE, Dentist and Patient hereby agree as follows:
1. Dentist shall instruct his receptionist not to ask, "How are we today?" If we were well, we would not be here.
2. Dentist acknowledges that Patient's time has a modicum of value. Accordingly, for every minute Dentist keeps Patient waiting, one dollar shall be subtracted from Patient's bill. Double, if the waiting room is filled with kids.
3. Dentist shall not try to persuade Patient that X-rays are safe. Such assurances lack credibility when piped in by a Dentist who's encased in protective gear and cowering next door.
4. Dentist shall not say "You have so many fillings, I can't read the X-rays." Otherwise Patient shall say, "Your invoice has so many dollars, I can't pay the bill."
5. Dentist shall not do any work until Patient's mouth approaches actual numbness. Dentist concedes that a dinner engagement eight hours after dental excavation isn't the best time for the Novocain to kick in.
6. Patient apologizes for not noticing that last week's filling isn't flush. Next time, Patient shall work harder at distinguishing bad occlusion from excruciating pain.
7. Dentist agrees that a mouth crammed with blood-soaked cotton and dental weaponry isn't capable of a clear "Yes" to the question "Does it hurt?" To improve communications, the following definitions are agreed on:
a. "Urghh." -- "It hurts a little, but I think I can stand it."
b. "Uuurrggh!" -- "Maybe you should give me another shot."
c. "UUUURRRGGGH!!" -- "If you don't drop that drill, I will kill you."
8. Dentist promises to avoid the phrase "This may sting a bit," prior to inflicting serious pain. Violations of same shall be reciprocated.
9. Dentist shall refrain from pacing while Patient spits out blood globules, filling scraps, and miscellaneous digestive organs into what looks suspiciously like a urinal.
10. Dentist shall improve his drool-mopping skills and buy a saliva-sucking machine that actually sucks saliva.
11. Dentist hereby banishes the words root canal, caps, and periodontist from his speech. Additionally, Dentist's examination of Patient's X-rays shall not be accompanied by head shakes, dental lingo such as "tch...tch...tch," and/or giggles.
12. Patient shall not be required to gaze at X-rays and/or pretend to see the cracks, craters, and crevices which Dentist proudly points out. Patient doesn't understand the X-rays, doesn't want to understand the X-rays, and thinks they look like ink blot tests. In any event, if Dentist is happy, Patient isn't.
13. Dentist shall not grin while discussing abscessed teeth and/or extraction. Moreover, Dentist shall contain his glee while figuring his fee.
14. In the interest of good taste and an improved IQ, Dentist shall switch from Muzak to Mozart. Dentist shall also upgrade the office artwork by ditching the happy-tooth cartoons his kids drew right before they left for Yale.
15. Dentist shall stop instructing Patient to floss. Everyone knows about the plot to boost dental business by flossing out flawless fillings -- The Oliver Stone film is up for an Oscar.
16. Dentist will stop trying to impress Patient with glossy, high-class magazines. Patient doesn't want to read "Town & Country." Patient wants to get the hell out of here.
17. Dentist shall not prescribe aspirin for post-visit pain. Dentist shall prescribe something that works.
18. Dentist shall not attempt to pacify Patient with parting gifts. In lieu of "free" floss and a toothbrush, Patient will accept a ten percent discount off the bill.
19. This agreement shall be deemed effective for all future dental work that Patient may be desperate enough to seek.
WHEREFORE, We affix our signatures.
Does the very thought of a dentist set your teeth on edge? Is pudding too challenging to chew? This contract should help mitigate your pain.
AGREEMENT entered into this ____ day of ________, 20__ by anxious Patient and drill wielding Dentist.
WHEREAS, Patient views dentistry as legalized S & M; and
WHEREAS, Dentist enjoys pillaging mouths almost as much as yachting and golf;
NOW, THEREFORE, Dentist and Patient hereby agree as follows:
1. Dentist shall instruct his receptionist not to ask, "How are we today?" If we were well, we would not be here.
2. Dentist acknowledges that Patient's time has a modicum of value. Accordingly, for every minute Dentist keeps Patient waiting, one dollar shall be subtracted from Patient's bill. Double, if the waiting room is filled with kids.
3. Dentist shall not try to persuade Patient that X-rays are safe. Such assurances lack credibility when piped in by a Dentist who's encased in protective gear and cowering next door.
4. Dentist shall not say "You have so many fillings, I can't read the X-rays." Otherwise Patient shall say, "Your invoice has so many dollars, I can't pay the bill."
5. Dentist shall not do any work until Patient's mouth approaches actual numbness. Dentist concedes that a dinner engagement eight hours after dental excavation isn't the best time for the Novocain to kick in.
6. Patient apologizes for not noticing that last week's filling isn't flush. Next time, Patient shall work harder at distinguishing bad occlusion from excruciating pain.
7. Dentist agrees that a mouth crammed with blood-soaked cotton and dental weaponry isn't capable of a clear "Yes" to the question "Does it hurt?" To improve communications, the following definitions are agreed on:
a. "Urghh." -- "It hurts a little, but I think I can stand it."
b. "Uuurrggh!" -- "Maybe you should give me another shot."
c. "UUUURRRGGGH!!" -- "If you don't drop that drill, I will kill you."
8. Dentist promises to avoid the phrase "This may sting a bit," prior to inflicting serious pain. Violations of same shall be reciprocated.
9. Dentist shall refrain from pacing while Patient spits out blood globules, filling scraps, and miscellaneous digestive organs into what looks suspiciously like a urinal.
10. Dentist shall improve his drool-mopping skills and buy a saliva-sucking machine that actually sucks saliva.
11. Dentist hereby banishes the words root canal, caps, and periodontist from his speech. Additionally, Dentist's examination of Patient's X-rays shall not be accompanied by head shakes, dental lingo such as "tch...tch...tch," and/or giggles.
12. Patient shall not be required to gaze at X-rays and/or pretend to see the cracks, craters, and crevices which Dentist proudly points out. Patient doesn't understand the X-rays, doesn't want to understand the X-rays, and thinks they look like ink blot tests. In any event, if Dentist is happy, Patient isn't.
13. Dentist shall not grin while discussing abscessed teeth and/or extraction. Moreover, Dentist shall contain his glee while figuring his fee.
14. In the interest of good taste and an improved IQ, Dentist shall switch from Muzak to Mozart. Dentist shall also upgrade the office artwork by ditching the happy-tooth cartoons his kids drew right before they left for Yale.
15. Dentist shall stop instructing Patient to floss. Everyone knows about the plot to boost dental business by flossing out flawless fillings -- The Oliver Stone film is up for an Oscar.
16. Dentist will stop trying to impress Patient with glossy, high-class magazines. Patient doesn't want to read "Town & Country." Patient wants to get the hell out of here.
17. Dentist shall not prescribe aspirin for post-visit pain. Dentist shall prescribe something that works.
18. Dentist shall not attempt to pacify Patient with parting gifts. In lieu of "free" floss and a toothbrush, Patient will accept a ten percent discount off the bill.
19. This agreement shall be deemed effective for all future dental work that Patient may be desperate enough to seek.
WHEREFORE, We affix our signatures.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Confucius Says:
Man with one
Chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch butt
Should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many
Prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong:
Man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not
Determine who is right, war determine who is
Left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put
Husband in doghouse soon find him in
Cathouse..
It take many nails
To build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like
Hell, bound to get there.
Man who live in
Glass house should change clothes in
Basement..
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in
Other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator
Smell different to midget.
Chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch butt
Should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many
Prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong:
Man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not
Determine who is right, war determine who is
Left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put
Husband in doghouse soon find him in
Cathouse..
It take many nails
To build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like
Hell, bound to get there.
Man who live in
Glass house should change clothes in
Basement..
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in
Other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator
Smell different to midget.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Journey of a man
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided
I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless… So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided
I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless… So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
Journey of a man
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided
I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless… So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided
I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless… So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
"Obama in Mom Jeans" - Greg Morton
Greg Morton is at it again with another song about President Obama. This time the Canadian comedian pokes fun at the President's choice in wardrobe for the All-Star Game.
Why men are never depressed
Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks..
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
( Uh… Imagine that!!)
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks..
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
( Uh… Imagine that!!)
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
The doctor's funeral
A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.
Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."
Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."
Cash for Clunkers and Dunkers and more
The "Cash for Clunkers" program has been met with such overwhelming suckess that the Government has decided to expand the program into other areas. Check out these new Government program ideas that may put the "Cash for Clunkers" program to shame...touche!
Cash for Dunkers - This one really hits the middle-class across the board. Almost everyone in America might be able to take advantage of this program. The Government pays you to go to Dunkin' Donuts, $5 for a cup of coffee or $1 per donut. NOTE: DO NUT MISS OUT ON THIS PROGRAM!
Cash for Bunkers - Forced by your parents to sleep in bunk beds against your will? This program is for you. All siblings forced to sleep in bunk beds will be paid $10 a night for doing so. Congressman Barney Frank says, "This program is a bunch of bunk. I'd rather sleep side-by-side than on top of someone!"
Cash for Gunkers - Live in a greasy spoon? Work on your cars and need to get grease off your engine, off your garage floor, and off yourself? Then this program is for you. The Government will pay you hundreds of dollars to buys hundreds of cans of Gunk degreaser at about $3 a spray can.
Cash for Spelunkers - Are you under lots of pressure? Do you feel like you're about to cave? Go ahead! Have no fear, the Government is here. The Government will pay you to cave. In fact, they will pay you to go cave exploring. Imagine getting up to $1 per linear foot for every cave that you explore. Don't forget to take along your Lousiville Slugger to protect yourself. You may have to hit some bats that might try to land in your hair on your head.
Cash for Hunkers - Ladies, are you tired of your hunk of a man? Me too! I'm jealous with a capital "G"! Trade him in for some cold, hard cash. The Government is offering to pay ladies $100 a pound for their men. We're not sure what the Government plans to do with the eventual surplus of hunks, but you can only guess. I hear that Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, and Diane Feinstein, just to name a few, look like they are beginning to salivate.
Cash for Funkers - We're all hurting in this economy, right? Right! Even the music business is hurting, right? Right! To that end, the Government is offering to pay musicians $10,000 each to simply start a funk band. What the funk is up with that?
Cash for Punkers - Through lengthy studies and expensive Government commissions and committees the U.S. Government has determined that some of you don't like funky music. Join the club! Well then, the Government will pay musicians $10,000 each to start a punk band. "Play that punky music white boy!"
Cash for Drunkers - This program has barely gotten off the ground and so have the recipients of the program's rewards. Apparently, this new Government program has gone way too far. Senator Ted Kennedy originally had the brilliant idea to pay town drunks up to $10 each, each time they got drunk. The number of town drunks has increased dramatically and so has the number of drunks in Congress.
Cash for Trunkers - Not a bad Government program for college kids and their parents. Every kid, who hauls a trunk full of stuff off to college, will receive a check from the Government worth $1,000. Trunk sales appear to be off the charts at many major retailers. College enrollment has increased exponentially in recent days.
Cash for Dunkers - This one really hits the middle-class across the board. Almost everyone in America might be able to take advantage of this program. The Government pays you to go to Dunkin' Donuts, $5 for a cup of coffee or $1 per donut. NOTE: DO NUT MISS OUT ON THIS PROGRAM!
Cash for Bunkers - Forced by your parents to sleep in bunk beds against your will? This program is for you. All siblings forced to sleep in bunk beds will be paid $10 a night for doing so. Congressman Barney Frank says, "This program is a bunch of bunk. I'd rather sleep side-by-side than on top of someone!"
Cash for Gunkers - Live in a greasy spoon? Work on your cars and need to get grease off your engine, off your garage floor, and off yourself? Then this program is for you. The Government will pay you hundreds of dollars to buys hundreds of cans of Gunk degreaser at about $3 a spray can.
Cash for Spelunkers - Are you under lots of pressure? Do you feel like you're about to cave? Go ahead! Have no fear, the Government is here. The Government will pay you to cave. In fact, they will pay you to go cave exploring. Imagine getting up to $1 per linear foot for every cave that you explore. Don't forget to take along your Lousiville Slugger to protect yourself. You may have to hit some bats that might try to land in your hair on your head.
Cash for Hunkers - Ladies, are you tired of your hunk of a man? Me too! I'm jealous with a capital "G"! Trade him in for some cold, hard cash. The Government is offering to pay ladies $100 a pound for their men. We're not sure what the Government plans to do with the eventual surplus of hunks, but you can only guess. I hear that Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, and Diane Feinstein, just to name a few, look like they are beginning to salivate.
Cash for Funkers - We're all hurting in this economy, right? Right! Even the music business is hurting, right? Right! To that end, the Government is offering to pay musicians $10,000 each to simply start a funk band. What the funk is up with that?
Cash for Punkers - Through lengthy studies and expensive Government commissions and committees the U.S. Government has determined that some of you don't like funky music. Join the club! Well then, the Government will pay musicians $10,000 each to start a punk band. "Play that punky music white boy!"
Cash for Drunkers - This program has barely gotten off the ground and so have the recipients of the program's rewards. Apparently, this new Government program has gone way too far. Senator Ted Kennedy originally had the brilliant idea to pay town drunks up to $10 each, each time they got drunk. The number of town drunks has increased dramatically and so has the number of drunks in Congress.
Cash for Trunkers - Not a bad Government program for college kids and their parents. Every kid, who hauls a trunk full of stuff off to college, will receive a check from the Government worth $1,000. Trunk sales appear to be off the charts at many major retailers. College enrollment has increased exponentially in recent days.
10 Great Tax Quotes
When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation. ~Vanya Cohen
The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose. ~William Simon
We must care for each other more, and tax each other less. ~Bill Archer
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. ~Robert Heinlein
We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability. But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two. “At least,” as one man said, “there’s one advantage about death; it doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” ~Erwin N. Griswold
What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue. ~Thomas Paine
It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. ~Dave Barry
U.S. Internal Revenue Service: an agency modeled after the revenue raising concepts of the 19th century economist, Jesse James. ~Robert Brault,
Any tax is a discouragement and therefore a regulation so far as it goes. ~Oliver Wendell
The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose. ~William Simon
We must care for each other more, and tax each other less. ~Bill Archer
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. ~Robert Heinlein
We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability. But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two. “At least,” as one man said, “there’s one advantage about death; it doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” ~Erwin N. Griswold
What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue. ~Thomas Paine
It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. ~Dave Barry
U.S. Internal Revenue Service: an agency modeled after the revenue raising concepts of the 19th century economist, Jesse James. ~Robert Brault,
Any tax is a discouragement and therefore a regulation so far as it goes. ~Oliver Wendell
Thursday, August 6, 2009
New Healthcare Symbol
To prepare for the new healthcare reform package, we felt it necessary to
develop a new medical symbol that truly depicts the situation!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
How not to do two careers
Seldom does a single video highlight how not to do two careers, but this one manages just that.
So here’s how not to perform as a professional newscaster and runway model.
So here’s how not to perform as a professional newscaster and runway model.
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