funniepicturez: April 2009

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Pics of the Day 4-28-09

Five Rules to Having a Happy Married Life

· It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

· It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

· It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

· It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

· It’s very, very important that these four women never meet one another.

Interior Camouflage

This Man Is A Professional Farter

Tom Rush - Remember Song

Can anyone relate to this (like I can)?

"The Remember Song"-----

Looking for my wallet and my car keys,
Well they can’t have gone too far;
And just as soon as I find my glasses
I’m sure I’ll see just where they are.

Supposed to meet someone for lunch today,
But I can’t remember where
Or who it is that I am meeting:
It’s in my organiser ~ somewhere.

I might have left it on the counter;
Maybe outside in the car.
Last time I remember driving
Was to that Memory Enhancement Seminar.

What's that far-off distant ringing
and that strangely familiar tone?
Must be the person I am meeting
Calling me on my brand new cordless ‘phone.

I might have left it under the covers,
Or maybe outside on the lawn;
And I’ve got just one more ring to go
Before my answering machine kicks on.

*Click*

“Hi, this is Tom and your call means a lot to me,
So leave a message at the tone
And I’ll do my best to try to remember
To call you back when I get home.”

*Beep*

“Tom, this is Gwendoline, and I am trying not to cry
But I’ve been waiting here for over an hour ~
I thought you loved me. This is goodbye!”

Hell, the voice sounds familiar,
And the name it rings a bell.
Let’s see now, where was I?
Oh well...